Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Blind

My entire life I’ve been taught that you can’t explain colors to a blind man

But until you walked into my life I was stuck in a never ending cycle of darkness

When we first started talking I could see the definition of colors

They started out with reds, oranges and yellows because you were the light of my life

I slowly fell in love with the way the world looked when I was with you

You made me see colors

And you were the only one who could take them away…

We started drifting further and further apart

And they started fading into darker versions of themselves

Now I can only see in black and white and I don’t know when I’ll finally get to see the colors I long for again

But every now and then you’ll smile and your lips will look red for a split second

And I’ll cry because red was always my favorite color ~Nicole W.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Social Life in College as an Introvert

College is literally the place where a lot of people open up and find their true identities but as an introvert with depression and anxiety I have found that this is not the case with me. I have become an even bigger introvert in some ways and in others I have opened up too much. Don’t get me wrong, I love college. It definitely has a lot of awesome things and amazing people but for me it’s really causing a lot of stress and anxiety.

I want to say that it’s the most amazing time of my life, and I can but It’s also the loneliest. I have one friend at Louisville with me and trying to make friends is not my strong suit. Everytime I leave to go somewhere where I could possibly make friends, I end up having a lot of anxiety and just not going or showing up and leaving two minutes later. This is not a good strategy if you actually want to make friends.

I do have people that I talk to while I’m here. My calc classmates are really chill and the people from my Hon 101 class were literally the most awesome people I’ve met. I just wouldn’t call any of them my friends. Now while I’ve been here, the one friend that I do have on campus, Jonathan, has quickly become my saving grace. He’s always there for me if I need him and he REALLY pushes me out of my comfort zone. I tend to lean on him and my friends back home a lot right now.

Making friends shouldn’t be that hard. Jonathan literally messaged people from our Hon 101 class and was like “you wanna hang?” and apparently that’s all it takes. I on the other hand have no clue how that worked because I would get so anxious messaging someone I don’t know. I can never continue a conversation through texts with people I don’t know if they don’t give me something to build off of. I can’t even really start a conversation through texts which is a bad thing if you don’t have friends in real life…

The shocking thing out of all of this though is I have found a way to have a social life without being able to do normal human things. I participate in the model UN and i applied for an SOSer position and I still hang our with Jonathan every chance I get. It’s just the normal college things that I feel like I’m missing out on. Like I don’t go to parties because I have no one to go with or I don’t go to events put on by the university because I don’t know anyone going and being alone frightens me.

I miss out on a lot and I’m trying to fix that. I’m really putting in the effort to be more outgoing even though it’s my chemical makeup that’s holding me back. I HAVE signed up for more leadership positions, I HAVE started getting involved with things that make me excited, and I HAVE been leaving my dorm more often. I just want to work towards a day where I don’t leave something that I think would be fun just because I have no friends there. I want to work towards a day where I’m a name and a face that people know in a good way. I want to work towards a day where I can message people and say “you wanna hang?” without having a mini panic attack and then just not sending it. I want to work and I am working towards a day where I just live my life without fear and I hope that you reading this already is capable of that and if not, you’re working towards that day too.

I’m wokring on myself, one day at a time. ~Nicole W.

My Photos

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Late Night Music Adventures

As promised, this is something different than my normal post. This is for my music lovers out there. A little less than a week ago I decided to go out of my comfort zone and try some new music. I kept seeing tweets on Twitter mentioning I Fall Apart by Post Malone. Up until then I had listened to like one of his songs and hated it so I wasn’t too interested in checking him out again. That was until I actually stopped and listened to one of the various videos posted on Twitter. I instantly fell in LOVE with his voice. This act started a journey and this post is all about how I got from there to new Falling in Reverse songs.

To give you some background information, I am normally a person that likes anything and everything when it comes to music. I have everything from Adele to Hollywood undead, from Thomas Rhett to Lemonade Mouth. I’m not one to hate any type of music (except Opera but that’s another topic for another time) but I’m not usually one to go so diverse in one night either but that’s definitely gonna change after this night.

Like I said, it all started with I Fall Apart and then I ended up listening to the whole Stoney album by him. I highly recommend doing that if you haven’t already. He reminds me a lot of Blackbear which has been one of my favorites for a while now. I just recently started getting into rap/hip-hop like last year because before that I was purely a pop and rock type of girl. But ever since Blackbear I have slowly become addicted. Blackbear, Logic, Post Malone, Khalid, you name it and I have them in my playlist somewhere.

After this new discovery I ended up deciding to go to the new music list on Napster (which I also highly recommend, it’s better than spotify in my opinion) which contained Pink’s new single and Demi Lovato’s new album. I cried to both and couldn’t help but listen to everything. Seriously, if you haven’t heard Instructions, Games, or Hitchhiker by Demi yet, what are you doing with your life???

All of this lead me to the popular section on Napster where I made a huge realization. Up until this night I would have never in my entire life called me a country music lover. I still don’t but I definitely don’t hate it anymore either. What Ifs by Kane Brown is literally so beautiful. And like the entire Thomas Rett album is just phenomenal. I have no idea why I’ve been convinced that I hated all country except Carrie Underwood. I was ignorant but now I’ve seen the light and I will never go back.

To end my music adventure I decided to look up some old favorites: Hollywood Undead and Falling in Reverse. I have a very hard time explaining why I like these bands to people. There not what most people like because they’re “emo” or whatever you use for that type of music. These two bands happen to technically be hardcore rap but I also like bands like I See Stars and BMTH so not all of it is like that. Anyway, I ended up looking up HU first because they were my first love (Three Days Grace and Hollywood Undead were the ones that started my love for this genre) and they had NEW singles out. I was not expecting that and listened to all of them and fell in love all over again. Now, if you know anything about Hollywood Undead and Falling in Reverse you’ll know that they are kind of in a rival because they have really similar styles so I decided to check and see if they came out with anything new and sure enough they also had some new singles out and they were so amazing in my opinion.

Now, if you know me at all you know that when I find new music that I like, I love to scream it to the world. I’ll constantly be tweeting about it and tweeting song lyrics from them. I get so happy and my days are usually just all around better when I have new music to listen to. So I’ve decided to sit down and write about this today instead of whatever political events are happening because I just needed to share my love!

Music makes the world go round. ~ Nicole W.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

How You Can Help

 

I am saddened by the events that took place Sunday night. I am appalled that I have to write this today but this is something that has been weighing on my heart. I was originally going to write about how all of this is our fault, but at this point, the anger has subsided and I am left with nothing but grief. Grief for the ones who have died. Grief for the family members that lost loved ones. Grief for this country as another tragedy has struck. So instead of blaming groups of people and spreading hatred, I want to share hope and to do that I’m going to list things that you can do to help in a time like this.

  1. A simple way to help after any devastation such as this one is to donate blood. This isn’t controversial and it’s something that is quick and easy and everyone can be involved (except for homosexual men, but that’s an issue for another time). No matter where you are, go to a nearby blood drive or go to a hospital and donate blood. They all connect to each other and help get the blood everywhere, so no matter where you are, you can help by doing this small act if it’s safe for you to do so. Disclaimer: not everyone is physically able to give blood so if you have any hesitation about it, talk to your doctor first, of course.
  2. Warning: this one is controversial but it’s something I strongly believe in. Contact your representatives and tell them you want stricter gun laws. The guns he used were bought in multiple different states and none of them, so far, were actually automatic weapons when he bought them. He bought these guns legally and he bought the parts to make the guns act like an automatic legally too. This needs to change. The only way we can change this in the face of everything and everyone pushing against us is by voicing the need for change to the people who are in the power positions. Call your local reps. Call your senators. Call Trump himself if you want/have to. Make it known that you are not okay with the gun laws that are currently in place that would allow a man such as the shooter to obtain these weapons LEGALLY.
  3. If you are religious, pray for the injured and the family members of the deceased. While this can be seen as controversial as well, if you have faith make sure to keep these people in your prayers. Keep our country in your prayers too as we are going to need all the help we can get to stop events like this from happening as often as they do.
  4. Get involved in your communities. Everyone has a voice, use yours to help people and not to belittle or divide. Start peaceful protests for things you find important. Join organizations that could benefit others in your community as well as the nation. We need as many people as possible to join together and make this world a better place. Become one of those people.
  5. Start a conversation about mental illness in your community. While I don’t believe the shooter should be humanized by saying he was mentally ill or anything of that nature, it is true that anyone who would kill 58 people, injure 500+, and then go on to kill themselves was in need of help. We need to start more conversations about mental illnesses. That won’t stop gun violence. That won’t stop the evil in the world from continuing to be what it is. But it could, in fact, start spreading a movement that could help a lot of people and maybe one day make an impact on the amount of mass killings that happen in America every year.
  6. Lastly, spread love in everything you do. You may not be a political person, and that’s fine, but at least be a good person. Don’t spread hate and lies. Don’t be part of the problem. Be kind and open to change. Be loving. You never know how a single compliment or smile could brighten someone’s day and help them get through a bad situation. Spread that. Spread love. Spread joy. Spread life.

To end this I just want to say a few things. There will be a lot of you that don’t agree with some of the things I have to say in this post. There will also be a lot that agree wholeheartedly. I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read it anyway. Whether you agree or disagree I hope you realize that I just want to spread hope and love to everyone and give everyone the chance to use the voice they already have. At the beginning of this writing I was angry and I didn’t think I would ever have the right words to talk about this devastation but I hope that while they may not be perfect, the words I have found (at like 1am) are uplifting in a time of despair.

Hug your families a little bit tighter tonight and spread life everywhere you go. ~ Nicole W.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

My Views

If this is the first time you’re seeing this lovely purple bear, hello and welcome. I’m Nicole and I am a Die-Hard Liberal (#FeelTheBern #Warren2020) and this is just a quick introduction to what you’ll see as my posts start flowing.

Healthcare: I’m extremely against Trumpcare and fighting for universal everyday. Why in the world is universal not a thing in America yet?

President: I miss the Obama administration and Trump has done nothing but cause me to break-out due to stress ever since he was elected. Also, as an American, you are allowed and should speak out against what you feel is wrong so don’t give be the bull about getting over it because there’s nothing you can do. There’s always something you can do.

Abortion: Pro-choice obviously. It’s their bodies and you can’t legislate morality.

Religion: I am Christian but I do not believe your religion should dictate how everyone around you acts. I will witness if you ask but I am not here to preach at you.

LGBTQ+: I am extremely for every form of equality when talking about the LGBTQ+ community. And religion shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to BASIC human rights.

Environmental Policies: GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL. We are killing our planet as we speak and this is not a drill. Take care of your environment and make sure you vote for bills that can help that happen!

Education: Should be free at all levels and we should start making students learn a second language in Kindergarten. Also, equality outside of school should relate to equality inside of school. Lastly, dress codes suck.

Economy: Making the rich pay less and the poor pay more is an ignorant view and should have disappeared a long time ago, but some how it keeps coming back. Also Obama is the cause of the Economy getting better, not Trump, he hasn’t put anything into law that would affect the economy yet.

Gun Rights: Yes, we have the second amendment but it is outdated. We need stricter gun laws. You have the right to carry firearms but a mentally ill individual should not have ANY access to guns. Guns should be harder to obtain in general and until they are we’re going to continue expereince mass shootings.

Feminism: I’m a huge feminist because it’s a movement for all, not just women, and everyone deserves equal rights.

Social Inequalities: I will fight for equality until the day I die because everyone should have the same opportunities and should not have to deal with the harrasment that can come from being different.

I know I’m probably missing some big ones, but if there’s something you would like to know about, comment down below and let me know or contact me through Twitter, Instagram or the contact page.

The list is long, the opinions are subjective, but the facts can and will be shown later on. – Nicole W.

 

Catalyst

Recently I went to a summer program for young activists. This program was put on by the Kentucky Student Environmental Coalition (KSEC) and ...